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Kruk
Kruk is a minor character The Band of Boobs first encounters in Episode 1 - Green Teens Gone, this is also the episode that Kruk meets his fate. Kruk is a barbarian from The Cracked Tooth Clan, he's decided to follow the clan's established norm of having a bald head that encompasses a ponytail and he's missing some teeth. Role in the story Kruk is first seen by our heroes in The Hungry Trout Inn & Tavern when they meet Scoutmaster Denny at the bar, this craven little halfing had just lost The Green Teens and paid the Cracked tooth clan barbarians including Kruk, twenty gold for their rescue. However, it soon becomes evident that the barbarians have no intention of helping Scoutmaster Denny and instead are taking advantage of meek Denny, since the clan members are just sitting at a table drinking beer using Denny's gold and whenever Denny would ask for an update they'd insist that they're getting ready and they just need to get hydrated before they go. So Kruk is drinking with three other presumed, Cracked Tooth clan barbarian members, due to them all having baldheads with ponytails. They are described as "big, f*cking, hulking, rowdy dudes". Kruk is noticeable since he's larger than the rest, combined with his big hearty laugh exposing his missing teeth. Whilst, Scoutmaster Denny, Hardwon Surefoot, Beverly Toegold and Moonshine Cybin are introducing themselves and learning about each other Kruk shouts in a guttural voice at Denny "AY! Get us Another Round!", interrupting them. Scoutmaster Denny fearfully turns around and replies with a thin wobbly voice "Well surely the twenty gold I paid you will be plenty for another..." Denny is cut off by Kruk who then again angrily yells "I said, We Want Another Round!". This second response slices through Denny's defensive and the scoutmaster responds subserviently "Yes sir" in conjunction to ordering another round with Mishka and like a waiter picks the drinks up and places them down around the barbarians. Kruk and the cracked tooth clan members are disorderly laughing until a small halfling, Beverly Toegold, comes up behind one of the monstrous barbarians and places a piece of paper folded to look like a swan by them. As Beverly goes to leave, Kruk picks up and flattens the note, it reads "You are very rude". The massive barbarian grabs Beverly laughs and says "I like you, yore' funny" in a gravelly voice. Beverly chuckles responding "I do have my humor patch, yes". Kruk calmly states "I tell you what, you get us another round of ale and I won't kill ya". At this point, Moonshine Cybin takes it upon herself to offer up some Bath-tub mead. This very alcoholic, mildly caffeinated drink slightly soothes Kruk's anger. Moonshine then goes on to teach the barbarians how to ingest bath-tub mead and a couple of the weaker Cracked tooth clan members are genuinely interested. Scoutmaster Denny notices the atmosphere is tense and runs over with some more ales and tells Kruk not to worry about the Green teen children. The unphased Kruk still eager for a fight informs our heroes that he want's Hardwon to do it, due to Hardwon's earlier displeased reaction to how they treated Denny. Hardwon holding two ales, goes over and pours them both at Kruk's feet. The other three members brace as if somethings about to happen. Beverly rushes over with a towel saying "For your boots" but the exceedingly infuriated Kruk backhands Beverly in the face. Two cracked tooth clan members seem unbalanced because of the bath-tub mead being very alcoholic, Moonshine then furiously starts to rub mushrooms over herself and starts to transform into a mushroom entity this causes the two barbarians who were huffing the fermented raccoon urine (Bath-tub mead) to "trip balls" and Moonshine blows toxic spores into one of the barbarian's eyes. This triggers the barbarians to reach for their swords and in Kruk's case a giant great-axe. Hardwon Surefoot quickly raises his great-axe one-handed and brings it down on the spore-blinded screaming barbarian, cleaving into him. Kruk swings his great-axe over his head rearing up with hardwon and recklessly slashing at Hardwon's shoulder, however, this heavy swing, unevens Kruk's stance and he gets hacked by Hardwon then subsequently stabbed by Moonshine's scimitar. At this point, Kruk is extremely injured but he musters the strength to attempt to lop Hardwon's head off, the man whose pride started the fight. Kruk, fortunately, misses Hardwon's neck but rips into some of Hardwon's already damaged shoulder. Kruk wavers swinging left to right, a punctured lung, choking on blood Kruk is completely exposed, Beverly turns to face and recites the Greenteen creed dramatically holding up the longsword and recklessly launches at Kruk screaming. Beverly decapitates Kruk, blood firing in all directions, leaving his head to tumble over to the bar. Kruk and other members of the cracked tooth clan don't get a burial instead the bodies are hidden and the blood is scrubbed up. Trivia *Kruk is the very first enemy to be slain by the band of boobs *He is described as a "drunken idiot" by his friends Category:Non-Player Characters Category:Humans Category:The Cracked Tooth Clan